So a little backstory about the pregnancy with little miss Hannah. She is a very wanted but unplanned baby haha. Sean was in the middle of nursing school, we had a lot going on with the other kids and life was busy with the four of them already. We had decided that we were done with having kids. At first it was only Sean who felt this way but after a couple months I had come to be not only ok but happy about moving on to a new chapter of our family. I was terrified of giving birth again anyway. Then a few months after we had decided for sure we were done and Sean was getting ready to schedule his vasectomy and I had just given away almost all of our baby things we found out we were pregnant. I even had to keep it a secret from Sean for almost two days because he had a huge test at school and I didn't want to street him out before it. When I told him he was so calm and just said well we make really cute babies so I guess we will just have one more then. I wasnt sure if I wanted to do a home birth or a hospital birth this time around. I had my first two at the hospital and then the next two at home. All four were natural births with no medication. The first, second and third births were all great. I had no complaints of any of them. Even though they were all different they all went pretty smoothly and I just had a baby. The fourth birth however was traumatizing. Thats a whole story but readers digest is that he was a missed breech baby born at home and he was compound which means his arm was up above and behind his head. Let's just say the birth was difficult and excruciatingly painful. I never have done anything more hard in my life. And to make it worse after I pushed him out we all thought he was dead. It took a few minutes to get him breathing after being bagged twice. So that said I was going into this birth with some anxiety and fears. After some conversations, pros and cons lists, many sleepless nights, and tears we both decided it would be best if we went to the hospital for this birth. We both wanted something different than last time just to give us some reassurance and a blank slate so to speak. I didnt want to be triggered and freak out during this birth. I have always felt that there is no wrong way to have a baby. As long as mom is educated of her choices and she gets to make that choice for herself thats what matters. Sean and I had also decided that I would more than likely get the epidural this time around as well. Just having that as a option really helped calm my anxiety. Knowing that I would have some relief from the pain of pushing this time if I needed it.
So that all said here is the birth story of our miss Hannah Jade Howell. I was so afraid of the pushing for this labor. The contractions honestly didn’t hurt that much and we barely made it to the hospital in time. We were there for less than 20 minutes and I pushed for less than 5 minutes. I'm so so glad it went so quickly and smoothly! I was at Yani’s house with Andrea when I went into labor about 10pm. We had just finished bleaching and dying my hair pink. We started to wash the dye out and as I bent over to rinse in the sink I had a contraction that I felt in my back and cervix. From there the contractions got stronger but they didn’t hurt so I kept thinking it wouldn’t be actual labor yet. Then I went to the bathroom and had one on the toilet that had a lot of pressure and it made me throw up. I always puke in the beginning of labor so I knew it was real and happening that night. I had a panic attack and cried saying I didn’t want to do it yet and I wasn’t ready. I went to the living room and cried more to Andrea and Yani. After they calmed me down they drove me home to Sean. The four of us sat in the living room and played on our phones. Then Sean went and took a shower and got dressed to leave. Yani kept track of my contractions. After a while they were 6 minutes apart and we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Andrea stayed behind to wait for my mother in law to come watch the kids and then met us at the hospital. She also called my mom to tell her to come to the hospital as well. I delivered at Mercy Gilbert which is a 26 minute drive. It didn’t feel that long due to contractions happening so close together. Yani breathed loudly in and out slowly reminding me to do the same without having to say anything. Sean gave words of encouragement. We got there at 11:30pm. Sean and I went into triage where the contractions got closer together. I asked if I could get the epidural, not because I felt like I needed it but because I was afraid of the pushing part and didn’t want to go through that again. I figured after four natural labors I could try a medicated one. They checked me and I was 6cm and 90% effaced. The nurse said it would be about 10 minutes in triage while they waited for blood work and finished asking some questions. Sean and I stopped for a picture opportunity and posted on Facebook haha. We talked to the nurse about him being in nursing school. Then I had another contraction and felt like I needed to push. The nurse asked me if I was feeling pushy and I confirmed I was. So we rushed to labor and delivery. When we got there my mom, Andrea, Yani, and Jimmy all came in. The midwife came in after them and I asked again if I was going to get the epidural. Everyone in the room knew I wasn’t going to get it and it was too late but I was still hoping haha. Seriously the pushing was so intimidating this time around. The midwife says to me “well let’s just see where you are right now” and checks for dilation. She said “well I see a head so we are actually just going to push a baby out instead” to which I replied “well fuck” 😬 And a contraction started and I began pushing. I pushed three times and Hannah came shooting out at 12:09pm. I was so surprised and happy and relieved when she came out I didn’t even noticed they had put her on my belly. When I did see her I wanted to hold her but I also just wanted to take it all in and calm down. It happened so fast my body and mind needed to catch up. I waited a few seconds and cried and then tried to pull her up to my chest but the umbilical cord was really short so they cut it so I could pull her close to me. She latched on for breastfeeding almost immediately. Then I asked Sean “so can you just get the vasectomy right now?” Haha. He said no. Hannah and I cuddled for an hour before I let anyone else hold her. I starred at her perfect little face and body and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t planned for her. I can’t image our family without her in it. And I’m so grateful for her. That labor was so healing and exactly what I needed to end our baby having chapter of life. She is perfect and I am cherishing every little thing about her and watching my other babies be big siblings.
So that all said here is the birth story of our miss Hannah Jade Howell. I was so afraid of the pushing for this labor. The contractions honestly didn’t hurt that much and we barely made it to the hospital in time. We were there for less than 20 minutes and I pushed for less than 5 minutes. I'm so so glad it went so quickly and smoothly! I was at Yani’s house with Andrea when I went into labor about 10pm. We had just finished bleaching and dying my hair pink. We started to wash the dye out and as I bent over to rinse in the sink I had a contraction that I felt in my back and cervix. From there the contractions got stronger but they didn’t hurt so I kept thinking it wouldn’t be actual labor yet. Then I went to the bathroom and had one on the toilet that had a lot of pressure and it made me throw up. I always puke in the beginning of labor so I knew it was real and happening that night. I had a panic attack and cried saying I didn’t want to do it yet and I wasn’t ready. I went to the living room and cried more to Andrea and Yani. After they calmed me down they drove me home to Sean. The four of us sat in the living room and played on our phones. Then Sean went and took a shower and got dressed to leave. Yani kept track of my contractions. After a while they were 6 minutes apart and we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Andrea stayed behind to wait for my mother in law to come watch the kids and then met us at the hospital. She also called my mom to tell her to come to the hospital as well. I delivered at Mercy Gilbert which is a 26 minute drive. It didn’t feel that long due to contractions happening so close together. Yani breathed loudly in and out slowly reminding me to do the same without having to say anything. Sean gave words of encouragement. We got there at 11:30pm. Sean and I went into triage where the contractions got closer together. I asked if I could get the epidural, not because I felt like I needed it but because I was afraid of the pushing part and didn’t want to go through that again. I figured after four natural labors I could try a medicated one. They checked me and I was 6cm and 90% effaced. The nurse said it would be about 10 minutes in triage while they waited for blood work and finished asking some questions. Sean and I stopped for a picture opportunity and posted on Facebook haha. We talked to the nurse about him being in nursing school. Then I had another contraction and felt like I needed to push. The nurse asked me if I was feeling pushy and I confirmed I was. So we rushed to labor and delivery. When we got there my mom, Andrea, Yani, and Jimmy all came in. The midwife came in after them and I asked again if I was going to get the epidural. Everyone in the room knew I wasn’t going to get it and it was too late but I was still hoping haha. Seriously the pushing was so intimidating this time around. The midwife says to me “well let’s just see where you are right now” and checks for dilation. She said “well I see a head so we are actually just going to push a baby out instead” to which I replied “well fuck” 😬 And a contraction started and I began pushing. I pushed three times and Hannah came shooting out at 12:09pm. I was so surprised and happy and relieved when she came out I didn’t even noticed they had put her on my belly. When I did see her I wanted to hold her but I also just wanted to take it all in and calm down. It happened so fast my body and mind needed to catch up. I waited a few seconds and cried and then tried to pull her up to my chest but the umbilical cord was really short so they cut it so I could pull her close to me. She latched on for breastfeeding almost immediately. Then I asked Sean “so can you just get the vasectomy right now?” Haha. He said no. Hannah and I cuddled for an hour before I let anyone else hold her. I starred at her perfect little face and body and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t planned for her. I can’t image our family without her in it. And I’m so grateful for her. That labor was so healing and exactly what I needed to end our baby having chapter of life. She is perfect and I am cherishing every little thing about her and watching my other babies be big siblings.
