Noah can tell something is changing. He understands a lot of words now and can comprehend when we ask him to come here or sit down or give kisses. He knows when we say not to touch something or when we say his food is hot that he needs to blow on it. He is becoming quite a big little boy. There are a lot of things he doesn't yet comprehend. I think one of those things is that there is a baby coming. Not just any baby but his very own baby sister. Recently my sister gave birth to his new cousin Joshua. Noah is interested in looking at him and touching his face and naming his body parts , giving him kisses and saying baby! He isn't ok with mommy holding the baby though. He gets stressed out and upset and throws a tantrum. When daddy however holds babies Noah is usually fine with it. I think it's because in some way he knows that mommy is the one that is changing. He sees my belly getting bigger and hears talk of the new baby and Rebekah and when she comes we can do this and that. He sees new things appear in the apartment all the time now. In his closet there is now along with his clothes and things new clothes. New toys, swings, high chair, and bottles have appeared around the apartment. He knows there is something changing but doesn't quite get it. I think he thinks this new baby is taking his place. Or that he isn't getting enough attention.
I know for me when there is a major change I get stressed out. I can't imagine how it is for him knowing there is a change but not really knowing what it is. I'm sure that when Rebekah comes he will love her and that they will become the best of friends. It is going to be a new challenge though to help him through this change. He has been the only child and center of our world for over a year and a half now. He is going to now have to share the center of our world.
Last week Noah had a small break down when he saw me changing Joshua's diaper. He almost stepped on his head trying to get to me. Then when Corey came to help Noah freaked out even more. He was trying to get to me but I was finishing up the diaper change. Cortney was pretty upset about Noah's reaction and felt like he was trying to hurt her Joshua. So she pushed Noah. It was a big mess. I finished the diaper and consoled my poor crying Noah child. It was pretty hard for me. It made me really worried about how he will be when Rebekah was born. I was crying a lot that night thinking about it. I don't want Noah to be sad and I don't want to neglect Rebekah to take care of him. I don't want to neglect either of them. It's going to be a balance act to be sure both kids get love and attention. I know we can do it. It will be a learning time for all of us. Noah is pretty good with other kids usually. When he is having a hard day he isn't a fan of me holding other babies. Other times he is fine.
We received some wonderful heartfelt advice from Sean's brother and sister in law Jason and Melissa. They have been such a great help through our marriage. It's nice having someone to discuss things with and learn from. They have 2 children 4 and 2. They are close in age like Noah and Bekah are going to be. Melissa reassured me that it's normal for a child to act out or be stressed when a new baby is coming. They also have is some ideas to handle the balance act. Melissa suggested a "nursing box" for Noah. It's going to seem like I am always feeding Rebekah to Noah since it happens through our the day with a newborn. The nursing box will be filled with fun toys for Noah to play with while I'm nursing. This will keep him occupied and let me have the attention I need to with Rebekah. We can make a big deal about bringing it out for him so he is excited for it. Then he won't feel left out. It's a genius idea! I'm excited to make it. She also suggested not holding Rebekah when we don't need to. Like laying her in her swing or on a blanket so we can give Noah some attention. Rebekah won't be missing out since she will be getting lots of love and attention during diaper changes , feedings, and nap time for Noah. Its going to be different for sure. But I want to try and keep Noah's schedule the same and get Rebekah on the same ish schedule. That will make things easier. Overall I'm a little worried about my capabilities. I always am. I tend to worry about doing things right and keeping order. But I know that Heavenly Father will be here for our growing family and give us all the strength and patience we will need. And our love will help us in this as well. We are going to have Sean give Noah a blessing this week so he can have some uplifting. He might not understand he words spoken but his spirit will. I'm so looking forward to growing our family and all if us meeting Rebekah! Only 15 weeks til my due date.
