Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Elijah's birth story

Elijah's birth story

I was on the way to a friends party around 6pm Monday night. I had two Braxton Hicks contractions on the way that I could feel in my back. I figured it was because I was sitting driving. I got to the party and I kept having the Braxton hicks. They didn't hurt but they were uncomfortable. I decided to go home just in case things picked up. I called Sean on the way and let him know what was going on. It was around 8pm. By the time I got home they had stopped though. I had texted a few friends and told them I was having contractions but they weren't hurting. It was 9:30 Right after that I had one that made me need to bend over the couch to get through. Sean went to the water heater and turned the water up while I made the bed with the plastic cover. I kept having contractions 5-7 minutes apart. I called Brealin, one of my midwives, because I was going back and fourth between telling people to come over or not. I was afraid things would just stop and they would come over for no reason. Also things felt so different than my past labors so I was so confused what was happening. Brealin was amazing and told me that they would come any time and it's not a big deal if they leave. So I decided to see how things go and if they got stronger. I called my mom and told her to come over anyway. Sean started airing up the pool and I had more intense contractions. About 10pm I sent this awesome meme I made last week to let everyone know I was in labor and to come on over.  I was getting nervous because things just felt so different than my other labors. I kept having Sean do counter pressure during contractions which is something I've never wanted before. I've always been more about me just holding his hand and counting through contractions but that wasn't enough this time. My mom got to the house first and had donuts in hand :) She gave me a hug and helped me through some contractions while Sean was setting things up. I asked Sean for a Priesthood  Blessing. He gave me one while mom did counter pressure on my back. Sometime between 10:20 and 10:40pm everyone had gotten to the house. Brealin, Stephanie and Amy - midwives, Adriana to take notes, Mom, Jess, Andrea and Amanda as support, Andraya- friend and photographer, Myrna- friend and videographer. I let everyone know where the coconut bras and lei necklaces were. I wanted my birth to be a fun party so I ordered them online a month before Haha. Everyone put them on. It was pretty funny looking up and seeing everyone in them while I labored.

At some point I got in the pool and then got out of the pool and then got back in and stayed there for the rest of the labor. The contractions were so strong and it just felt so very different than the last labors. That's all I could think of. It just felt like, more. I kept feeling my belly and then my vagina and it felt so different. I couldn't figure out what it was. I looked up and told them something felt wrong or different. I whispered to Sean to please say a prayer for me. He whispered in my ear a prayer that me and Elijah would be safe and that things would go how they are supposed to.  I started feeling like I needed to push. My body would do some small pushes during contractions but I didn't feel ready. I asked Brealin to check me. She asked "and what is it going to tell you if I do?" She was right. It didn't matter how dilated I was. I needed to listen to my body. But I was so confused. It didn't feel right. I wasn't scared. I was just confused. I knew Heavenly Father was helping me. At one point Amy came and whispered in my ear "I just wanted you to know there are angels in the room with you. Watching you, helping you. You can do this". I asked Sean to pray for me again. Mom came over and held me for a bit. Since I had gotten in the pool I was in the same position I had been on to deliver both Rebekah and Abigail. I was on my knees and leaning up against the pool. (Rebekah's birth was a hospital birth but I was leaning up against the hospital bed. Same position though.) It was how I was comfortable both times and I wanted to birth in the same position because that's what worked. I kept feeling like it was wrong though. And I would move my legs between contractions and contemplate switching positions but I didn't. Finally after one contraction I just couldn't do it anymore like that. I flipped over like a starfish and pushed my legs against the pool. I didn't know what I wanted. But the pool felt too big. I didn't feel like I had any support to push on. I was wanting to ask for Sean to get in the pool but my mouth wasn't forming the words. Amy had intuition after I had said "there is too much pool" and says to me "do you want Sean to get in and take up some room?" Yes yes that's what I want. Sean got changed and got in the pool behind me and I leaned up against him. I felt so much better at that point. I felt safe and protected. I could do it now that he was with me and helping me. I started pushing again with each contraction. I could feel it in my butt and back more than I ever had. All I could think of during this birth was how different it was. Well it turns out that it was in fact very very different. I had a contraction and I felt what was like a giant balloon popping and expelling from my vagina at the same time. It was my water breaking. Stephanie mentioned how the contractions would feel better now. She checked me and then explained that the reason it was feeling so different was because my baby was breech. "DAMMIT" That's all I could think. Which I then said out loud and then immediately apologized for. I don't curse. Also I'm a quiet, calm birther. I knew right then this was not going to be my usual quiet calm birth. This was going to hurt. More. And be harder. But I'm here already, pushing. I have to keep going to get my baby out. I'm going to have to work for him. I can do it. Sean and my midwife and God are going to get me through this. I will have my baby. I was scared for a moment and then it left. The fear was replaced by strength and confidence I could do this. I could hear in my mind  Heavenly Father tell me "you can do this. For Elijah. You can do this" that became a chant in my head. I was mouthing, not sure if I said out loud or not. "I can do this. I can do this. I am doing this. Push. Get him out. Get him out" I know my sisters told me they thought I was telling Stephanie to get him out. But what I was trying to say was to myself that I needed to get him out. The rest I'm not really sure how it all went down. I just know Stephanie helped me a lot. She was like a magical midwife. She coached me through the pushing and told me how to do it. At one point she had to stick her hand inside me and help put Elijah in a good position for me to push him out. Not only was he frank breech, which means his butt was coming out first and his feet were up near his head, but he was also what they call anti superman which means he had his arm up above his head and behind it. So he was stuck even after I got his butt and body up to his armpits out. Later Stephanie told me that it was the most difficult breech position she has had to help deliver. Apparently Elijah just really wanted an intense birth story. All while pushing I had forgotten everyone else was in the room. All I kept my eyes on was my midwives. I knew sean was behind me supporting me. That's all I needed. I kept praying and pushing. It was so hard. I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere with my pushes. But finally Stephanie said to me "deana you have to push your baby out NOW". She had her serious this needs to happen for the safety of your baby" face on. That scared me a bit. Sean reached down and grabbed my thighs and pulled them up into my chest almost. I pushed and pushed. I could feel her hand inside of me while I pushed and he came out. I felt relieved. I did it. I gave birth to my baby. Finally. Stephanie scooped him out of the water and he was kind of limp. Sean hugged me. I could tell he was scared and worried. Stephanie had to give a few puffs of air with the face mask thing. It was less than a minute but the whole room was quite and tense. All I could do was hold his little foot in my hand and tell myself everything was fine. I felt warmth and safety again but I was worried. Stephanie got him breathing normally and crying. She handed him to me. I held him and kissed him. I was so tired. They helped me out of the pool and onto the bed. They checked him out and he was fine. I was so exhausted I just wanted to lay on my side for a minute. I had a big contraction again and the placenta just kind of flopped out like a jellyfish. Sean cut the cord at some point and then took Elijah so I could just lay there for a moment. That birth was exhausting. They brought me orange juice and a granola bar. Everyone came and gave me hugs. I know I ate a donut at some point while feeding Elijah. I was surprised at how quickly and easily he latched on and ate.

He was born at 12:42am Tuesday 11/29. Active labor was about 4 hours with 20 minutes of pushing.

Talking to everyone that was in the room I learned that they were terrified during the pushing. It was really intense even though it only lasted 12 minutes it felt like so much longer. I'm glad that I didn't have any of that fear during or I think it would have been a different outcome. I felt so much love and strength from Sean holding me and helping me and I could feel Heavenly Father helping me. It was such a spiritual experience. I was worried and tired and it hurt so much and then I would feel my body give me strength again when the next contraction came.

I'm glad I had each person I invited there. I know they each were praying and holding a space of love while I was pushing. I know a few of them have since told me how they felt angels in the room with us.

Later Stephanie explained to me why she had to help so much with the pushing in the end. I knew I felt her hand inside of me while I was pushing. Which is not something she would have done unless it was absolutely needed. Because his arm was up and behind his head if I had delivered him like that it would have broken his humorous bone. Ouch. She had to put her fingers into his mouth on his jaw and flex his head down for his arm to move and me to be able to push his arm and head out at the same time.

Brealin was supposed to be the primary for this birth. We were both so excited for it. As part of her apprenticeship to become a midwife she has to be the primary midwife for 25 births, with Stephanie present. I was going to be the first. It was so special because I've been here since the beginning of her journey. I provided childcare for her daughter on call and she told me other than Stephanie I was the first to call her a midwife. I felt so honored and blessed to be able to be the first of her primary births on her way to be a midwife. After everything settled down from the birth I realized that, that didn't happen. Because he ended up being breech Stephanie took over the role of primary midwife. I'm grateful she did obviously because that's what needed to happen for Elijah to be safely born. Brealin had never seen a breech birth. But I felt like I had let her down. I know she didn't feel that way at all. I cried and she held me as I told her what I was feeling. She stroked my hair and assured me my birth still counted for something. And that now she has experienced a breech birth.

When I saw pictures from my birth I thought it was insane. How did he come out of me like that? I don't think I really processed what breech was until then. There is a picture of just his butt sticking out and his legs are still inside of me. I feel like Stephanie did some sort of midwife magic to have gotten him out. Also the picture of him right when he was fully born and his little body is limp and white. I'm glad that we are both healthy and fine. We both went through a lot that day. It's still an amazing birth story. I know God was in the room with us that day giving me the strength to get him out. Im so so glad I had the home birth even though it didn't turn out exactly how I had imagined and how my last one was. I was home surrounded by people who love me and I felt safe and protected. If I had been at the hospital it would have been a csection for sure, which is not something I would have wanted. I'm so grateful for my midwife and my support team. Sean was amazing and his love and faith in me gave me strength. Our little guy is such a cutie too.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Noah is a little man

Noah is almost a man Or so he thinks! Ha-ha. He likes to make all his own choices and show how big he is. He doesn't like it when we help him with things one minute and then the next complains we won't do it for him.
* he has grown more independent which is fun and sad at the same time. He is growing so much
* He is still struggling with being fully potty trained. He wears a diaper at night and sometimes wakes up dry. He will go days or weeks with no day time accidents and then he will have one or other times he will have them all day. It's frustrating for both of us. He just gets distracted. He gets upset when he has an accident but doesn't always tell us. He does great with it at preschool and church though
* Noah goes to preschool Tuesday and Thursdays from 8:30am to 11:30am. He goes to a friends house that teaches. She has her son and another little girl in the class.
* Noah knows all his letters from sight and can sing the alphabet. He can count to 20 sometimes he needs help with 12-14. He knows all the shapes and colors. He is such a smart kid. He has a hard time with writing. He hasn't chosen a dominant hand yet. He sometimes holds the writing  utensil to limp and doesn't put enough pressure to write. We are working on it and he shows improvement every time.
* his teacher adores him. She always has a funny, or sweet story to tell me when I pick him
 up.
* quotes " I love that you teach me things miss sarah. Thanks! "
* he introduces himself to everyone we see. Even at the stores.
" he and Rebekah play more together. He tells her what to do and she follows him. Sometimes she doesn't and he gets upset but then just goes with what she wants ha-ha
* he is a sweetheart. He loves being silly and making us laugh.
* he will still cuddle with mom and dad and likes hugs.
* he weighs 32lbs
* he likes his hair cut like daddys.
* he can't wait til he can have a beard like dad. He asks other men "why is your beard bald?"
* he is such a caring boy. He asks how we are doing and if he can help with anything.
*he is so responsible. He takes care of his messes and getting snacks for himself.
*he knows when he is tired and takes care of it. He will tell us he is tired and just go lay in bed and ask for a song and prayer.
* He talks in his sleep. He wakes up laughing sometimes and says something silly
* He has a loud, blasting laugh.
* he loves having his picture taken and yells "cheese " and leans forward.
* he is super smart. He learns things quickly. He likes to tell everyone around him what he learned that day. "Cheese has protien!" "Plants grow from seeds when you plant them in the ground and water them and give them sunlight"
* He loves being held and giving hugs. He wipes away kisses but asks for them all the time ha-ha
* he is so polite. He introduces himself to random people all the time and asks what their name is.
* He has a small voice when talking sometimes it's hard to hear. Then other times he is so loud it hurts our ears.
* he likes making up jokes and stories
* he is a mama's boy. He likes to tell me everything. And loves cuddles and holding my hand.
* he is obedient and kind. He listens well when people use a soft voice and loving guidance. If he is just told what to do with force he shuts down and cries and gets defensive.
* he says the silliest things.
* he likes to help cook and clean and pretty much anything that's being done he wants to help with.

Our Tiny Rebekah

Our Tiny Rebekah

*she was delayed with her speech for awhile and we were getting worried. Turns out she just didn't want to talk ha-ha. 2 months after her birthday she just started to use more words. Then by 2 years 3 months she was using sentences. She has such a small sweet voice. Everything she says is adorable
* she has been playing a learning app on the iPad and now knows some letters from sight. R, O, T, S, C, N, M and a few others.
* she can count to 3 and knows a few other numbers
* she loves to color
* she is tiny. At 2 1/2 yrs she weighs 23lbs
*when she gets mad and we try to calm her down or ask her what's wrong she yells "happy Bekah!" Ha-ha. Umm no you're clearly not happy but okay silly girl
* She likes to play this game where she tells you that you are someone else - points to daddy "you Noah" points to Abigail "you daddy!" Then she giggles
* she loves it when you we pretend to be sad and then she kisses our head and we exclaim that we are happy now
* she loves to wrestle with Abigail.
*she and Noah play male believe now. It's so cute to watch
* she is our naked child. She takes off her clothes all the time. * she is partially potty trained.  She started it all on her own. She takes her diaper off and would go sit on the potty. She rarely poops in her diaper. She has gone a day or two completly in underwear and then she will go back in a diaper because she doesn't want underwear anymore.
* she is just so silly.
*she is a major daddys girl. She jumps up and down and runs to him when he gets home from work. She likes to stroke his beard.
* she is so maternal. She likes to put her baby dolls and stuffed animals to sleep and give them cuddles.
*she wickedly smart. She hatches plans to make messes and run away. 
*her hair is beautiful. We love her curls. Occasionally she has let me braid it and do fun things. Usually not. She is wild and likes her hair to show that 
*she likes dirt. It's her favorite. She loves throwing it and putting it in buckets and bags and carrying it around. 
*Minnie Mouse is her favorite thing ever. She loves her. She says "ninny mouse" 
* she says pup instead of cup. Anything with a c sound she says with a "p" or a "t" 

All About Abigail



I feel so bad I haven't been so great at documenting Abby's baby months. Three kids sure does keep me busy. But here I am almost 10 months later to update about miss baby.

*Abigail is such a happy girl. She rarely cries and smiles easily. *She has a smile that takes up her whole face. Her eyes light up and her grin is so big even her cheeks are smiling. Her eyes are blue so far.
*She currently has four teeth both middle on top and bottom.
*She loves biting things especially toes.
*She has become quite the noise maker this last month. Grunts and squealings are her thing.
*she started crawling around 4months and standing soon after and walking while holding onto the couch or toys at 8months.
*she can stand on her own but not for long. Maybe a few seconds.
*she has taken a few steps without holding onto anything this week but it's mostly her trying to not fall.
* She adores Noah and he is the best at making her laugh. Although he is only sometimes interested in her. But he does get some pride from making her laugh which is cute.
* Rebekah and Abigail love to wrestle. Abigail will attach Rebekah's legs til she falls and then she crawls ontop of her and gets her hair. Then Rebekah pushed her over and lays ontop of her ha-ha. It's so entertaining to watch.
* Rebekah calls Abigail  " Abby. Baby. " and sometimes "babies Gail"
* she has a million nicknames. Baby girl, Abby babe, baby Gail, Abster.
* She recognizes her name and comes when we call for her.
* her favorite toys are her siblings. If she can't play with them she loves anything she can chew on.
* She loves food. We don't give her baby food. She eats whatever we eat. Or as I like to say - we aren't doing baby led weaning , we do sibling led weaning. She eats whatever the big kids drop on the floor for her or whatever she steals from them ha-ha. Her first food was mashed potatoes. Then she had avacodo. She eats basically everything at this point except honey. She loves pb&j, oatmeal, noodles.
* She goes back and forth with sleeping through the night. Some nights she does then she will go days or weeks with waking up all night. She just loves mama cuddles.
* She bad shares with us. I always said that I would never do that. Then I changed my mind this time ha-ha. Around 2 months I just got tired of putting her back in her bed so I stopped. Now that she is older she spends less time in our bed. She goes to sleep in her own crib in our room around 7-8pm. Then when she wakes up about 11pm I feed her in bed with me and then put her back in her crib. Then at 3-5pm she wakes up and I fed her and just keep her in bed with us cuz I'm tired and lazy and she is so small and cuddly.
*she loves when daddy dances and sings to her
* we got her ears pierced a few weeks after her 3 month shots. I love them.
* I love listening to her sing. She makes pretty songs with her squeals and coos.
* she can say Dada
(first word) and mama.
* At her 9 month Dr appointment she was 15lbs and 22 inches long. She is in the 2% for her age. We just have tiny little ones. * SHE HAS A MOHAWK. It's so funny that her hair just grows like that. Just fuzz on the sides and long hair that sticks up in the middle.
*she makes a grunting/groaning sound for a couple minutes right before she fall asleep.

Friday, April 3, 2015

The birth story of Abigail Olivia Howell

After having prodromal labor over the last two weeks I was a little in denial that this was the actual thing for most of the labor. Even when it came time for pushing I was thinking it was too soon and only after Stephanie reassured me my body knew what it was doing did I let it happen. My thoughts are still all over the place and I'm letting everything soak in as I write this. I can't believe just over a day ago I had a baby! I delivered a baby in my living room. She was in my belly and now she is laying wrapped up in a blanket next to me on the couch in the place she was born. I LOVED my birth with her. So as I sit here trying to get all my thoughts and feelings of that amazing day it might seem jumbled but hopefully you can get a glimpse of how beautiful, empowering, spiritual the experience was to me. I also have notes that my dear friend Emily Ward wrote for me. She didn't get to my house until about an hour into my labor so I don't specific things written down until the point when she got there. I love that I have a time line of notes from all three births. Its pretty cool to have not only my memories of the days but also having someone else's perspective is great. So remember I'm not a great writer and I don't pretend to be but here is the story as I remember.

Warning** stop reading if you believe in TMI as I don't. This is birth and there will be talk of amniotic fluid, placenta, and all other body things to do with labor and birth.

February 10th, Tuesday morning I woke up because I thought I heard Noah calling out for me. I went into his room but he was still sleeping. He might have been dreaming and called for me but I also might have been hearing things. Sean was in the living room checking his email before leaving for work. I went to the bath room and when I wiped the toilet paper was tinted with a little blood. Then when I stood up a leaked a little fluid but I honestly couldn't tell if I peed or it was my amniotic fluid leaking. I told Sean and he said ok well let me know how things progress. I will have my phone ready. That was at about 6:15am. Sean left for work and I got dressed for the day. Noah and Rebekah kept sleeping. Calli got dropped off at 6:30am. Noah woke up right after Calli got here and was in a great mood. Him and Calli went straight to playing some silly game as I put laundry away. Around 6:45am I got up from the couch and as I did I had a weird plop type feeling of fluid in my underwear. It wasn't a whole lot but enough that I knew it wasn't pee but I was still in denial. I texted Sean and let him know I was pretty sure it was my water but also unsure at the same time haha. I started having contractions around 7am and leaked some more fluid. Rebekah woke up and I got her dressed and ready for the day. I turned on itunes radio on my tv and played the Lenon and Maisy channel.  I made sure the diaper bag was packed and ready for them to go to Grandma's house. I called Sean and he said he was coming home. He made great timing and got home a little after 7:30am. I also told my friends Melissa and Adriana at 7:15am that I was leaking fluid and having contractions. Adriana had been invited to do photos at my birth so she started getting her kids ready to go to grandmas house. I was still having contractions but they weren't hurting too bad and I was still thinking it could stop at any moment. Sean decided to take the kids out to get donuts so I could just be home alone for a little bit. So he and the three kids went to Bosa donunts and I went for a walk in front of our drive way. I called my sister Robyn and told her I was pretty sure I was in labor but also still having second thoughts. While talking with her I made the bed and put the water proof cover on it, then put the throw away top sheet on it. As we were talking she started timing my contractions and let me know they were about 3-5 minutes apart and that I should call my midwife. I agreed and hung up and called her. She said that it could be my water but it could also be my mucous plug. She said that when I'm ready for her to come to call and she will be there in 15 minutes.  I texted Calli's parents and let them know I was pretty sure I was having a baby today and they should come get her. I also called my mom and let her know and she said she would take a shower and be right over. I texted my friend Emily who was asked to take notes, and my amazingly talented friend Andraya who was also doing photos. (this is the same Andraya who always does our family photos, and my hair)  Sean and Adriana with her kids and husband, Tim, got to the house at the same time at 8:30am. Tim went straight to the couch with his son and they played video games  while Lily Noah, Calli and Rebekah played in the living room. haha. Sean (Calli's dad not my Sean) got to the house just a little after my Sean and everyone else got here.He and Calli left right after he got here. My mom got here right after they left. I went back and forth between my bedroom leaning on the desk during contractions and the kitchen leaning against the counter or the table during contractions. My mom, Adriana and Sean and I chatted in between contractions and I ate a raspberry jelly filled donut. Elizabeth got to the house at 9am and took the kids. (They had a fun morning going shopping with her). Tim and his kids left shortly after Elizabeth and the kids left. Sean started putting up the birth pool and filling it with water right after they left. So it was just Me, Sean, Adriana and my mom at the house as the pool filled. I was still having contractions around 5 minutes apart and they were getting stronger. Adriana asked me if I was ready for Stephanie to come. I still wasn't sure if it was going to stop or how long it was going to last. I didn't want her to come too early and not have anything to do. The contractions were stronger but I didn't feel like they were too bad yet. Adriana was so great and had such kind supportive words. I asked Sean to give me a priesthood blessing. In it he said that I would be safe and that things would go as planned and that it would be quick and smooth. I felt such peace and love from my Heavenly Father and I just knew things would be ok. After the blessing the contractions started getting longer. I got in the pool as it was still filling. It was about half way full. Sean called Stephanie and told her we were ready for her to come. I loved being in the water. I even told Adriana who is also having a home birth with Stephanie, that she should use a pool and that it was amazing. I got out because I had to pee and had one contraction while I was out and it was horrible. I was so happy to be back in the hot water again. In between contractions I would sit and lean my back against the pool and then during the contractions I kneeled and leaned over the pool with my arms hanging out. My mom would hold my hand for some of the contractions while Sean messed with the water and hose filling the pool and Adriana took pictures.Adriana took a picture of my birth candle and my birth frame and posted it on our home birth community facebook page so the women there would know I was in labor. The things everyone posted on the picture were so sweet. I loved being able to read them after I gave birth.   I can't remember when but at some point Stephanie got to the house and started setting things up. Shortly after Emily got to the house and started taking notes on her laptop. Then at some point Andraya got to the house.  I can't remember when because it was after a contraction I looked up and saw her there putting her camera together. I was so happy to have such amazing women there supporting me. Knowing Sean was near me and watching over me was so comforting. And I went between holding his hand and my moms hand. My mom was so helpful grabbing towels for me when I needed. Stephanie is a midwife goddess and empowered me so much! She said exactly what I needed to hear. The contractions got stronger and closer together. They were right on top of each other. I moved to the other side of the pool and was leaning over on my knees. One big contraction happened and my body started pushing down. Its the weirdest feeling for your body to just take over and do something without you really telling it to. Its hard to explain. I looked up shocked and said to Stephanie "I think I'm pushing. Its to early for that right? I shouldn't be pushing yet". I'm so used to having babies in the hospital where they check you to see how dilated you are constantly and then when you start feeling ready to push they tell you not to and to wait and that you have to wait til the doctor gets there, or until they can check you first or any other reason for it to be on their time line not your bodies. (I loved my hospital births and nothing will change that but its amazing to see the difference of a home birth. I was in charge. It was amazing) Stephanie told me that its ok if I feel like I need to push and to go with that feeling. Do what my body feels is right. Then I had another contraction and I could feel Abigail moving down more and I felt the urge to push. I kind of  halfheartedly pushed. I was still in denial that it was time to push and that it was time. I didn't feel like it had been long enough and I wasn't really feeling like it hurt that much. The pool helped so much with the pain. Stephanie told me after that contraction that if I'm feeling the urge to push still that I should take my bikini bottoms off now because I will not want to be doing it later. I took them off and had another contraction and that time I pushed. I could feel Abigail crowning. Then Stephaine told me to feel my baby's head. I reached down with my hand and I could feel her head coming out. I held Sean's hand with my right hand and had my left hand down in the water feeling Abigail coming out with each push. It helped me concentrate so much to actually feel the progress of her coming out. The warm water of the pool was so great for the pain. I remember when I had Noah and Rebekah having that horrible "ring of fire" while pushing. I never had that with this birth. It hurt of course but it wasn't to that point where it burned or anything. It was a different kind of pain. As I was pushing Stephanie said to me "It's ok for it to be fast, its ok for it to be easy." Thats what I needed and I felt more strengthen. Holding Sean's hand knowing he was there with me I felt so much love. My baby was going to be here soon. I said a prayer in my head 'Heavenly Father, I'm almost done. I know I can do this. I'm already doing it. Its almost done. Please help me to finish. Help me bring her here'. I felt her head come out. I just needed to get her shoulders out and the rest would just come. Right then 'wrecking ball' by Miley Cyrus came on the tv itunes radio I had on. All I could think is "no, no no no. My baby is not going to be born into this world to that. It needs to stop". Mid push I said "make that song stop. I hate her" haha Stephanie laughed out loud and so did everyone else in the room. Sean quickly grabbed the remote and skipped the song. Lenon & Maisy came on next and I was good with that lol. Stephanie told me one more big push and she will be here Deana. One more push make this a big one. She said to be ready and to get my baby. I remember getting nervous and feeling tired and I said to just let Sean do it. But Stephanie told me I could do it. Reach down and grab my baby.  I took a breath and pushed and I felt her flop out. Stephanie told me to reach and grab my baby. I caught her. I caught my daughter come into this world. I made her and I got to be the first one to hold her. Sean and Stephanie helped guide Abigail through my legs and I laid back in the pool and brought Abigail to my chest. I was done. She was here and I did it! I couldn't believe that just happened. Stephanie told me I was a rock star. I felt like a ROCK STAR! I had my baby in my living room and I rocked it. Some people are talented at sewing or cooking or crafts; I make babies haha. Sean was beaming looking at her in my arms. I love that man. I sat in the pool holding my little girl. About ten minutes later I delivered the placenta in the pool. The water was still clear and clean after Abigail was born right up until the placenta was delivered. Then it was stained red with the blood. I actually didn't even care. I had my baby. Stephanie put the placenta in a bowl. She explained to me that I needed to get out soon so she could check me and be able to tell if there was any excessive bleeding. My mom grabbed the bowl with the placenta, Sean took Abigail and Stephanie and Emily helped me out of the pool. We all moved into my bedroom and I got on the bed. Abigail went back on my chest and the bowl with the placenta next to me. Sean cut the cord. Abigail latched on and had her first feeding. I couldn't believe how easy it was. I held up my breast and she just latched on and had a feeding for almost a half hour. Someone brought me my lemon filled donut and Abigail and I had our first meal together haha. I can't remember that much after that. Everyone was in the room looking at her and I and all I could do was stare at her and then back at Sean. I remember at some point Sean took her and I teared up seeing him with her. I fall more in love with him with every baby we have. He is such a great father. He loves those babies with all his heart.
After I fed Abigail for awhile Stephanie took her and weighed her right in front of me and Sean. She was 7 pounds 2.5 ounces and 20 inches long. She then laid Abigail on the bed next to me and did the newborn check. I loved that she never left my sight and was close to be the whole time. Everything was perfect.
Stephanie and Amy (the midwife assistant who showed up just after Abigail was born haha) cleaned up everything and started a load of laundry. Everyone gathered in the next room while Stephanie checked to see how I was. I had a tiny little tear at the bottom and all she had to do was put some glue to close it. Thats how small it was. After about 2 hours everyone everyone left and it was just me and Sean and sweet tiny Abigail. We all took a nap for a few hours. Elizabeth brought the kids over to meet Abigail after nap time and Andraya came to take pictures. The kids adore her. They went back to Grandma's house to spend the night.

So thats the birth story. I wish I had a thesaurus because all I can think of is amazing. It was AMAZING! I felt the love of my family and friends the entire time. I knew Heavenly Father was watching over me. I felt strong, and calm, and peaceful. I was home. Sean and I have now said every baby will be born at home now that we know how great it is. Home birth rocks :) And Abigail is perfect.

Now here is the overload of pictures, in order of events :) 

These are the photos by my friend Adriana

dounts, in between contractions

how many can I eat before mom gets them?

going to hang out with grandma




birth necklace I made at my blessingway

I think it was during this contraction that Sean walked in from the laundry room after turning up the water heater and saw me bent over the counter and smacked my butt. He thought he was being sweet/funny, not realizing I was having a contraction at that moment! After it ended I turned and said "really? ... I was having a contraction."  He was so sorry haha.

setting up the birth pool

put toys from living room into the kids room





blessing for comfort during labor. Something I love that Sean has done for each birth







so happy to be in the water!





I love my midwife <3

Emily taking notes of things that happened. I love having a play by play


birth supplies


I started feeling like I was going to throw up so they gave me a bowl. I never did though!

Andraya, One of my photographers.





These are the photos done by Andraya





















This was the first contraction where I started feeling like I needed to push and Stephanie told me to take my bikini bottoms off. 







This is the position I was in for pushing. 





This was in between contractions. I think I had just asked to have the song changed haha













There are a ton of pictures between the above picture and the below picture but I have to edit them some before posting them. I was leaning over the pool in an almost squatting kneeling position to push Abigail out and my lovely butt is all out for the world to see. I need to edit a few of them and then put some here because it looks pretty awesome. I was feeling her head as it came out and the got to be the one to catch her in the water 

This is Stephanie helping me pull miss baby out of the water.  













get out placenta. 



contractions to get the placenta out. ouchies

Good job you had a baby, kisses for you







yeah thats the placenta in the bowl. Mom was the official placenta holder 









daddy cutting the cord








I just love my midwife :) 



















She is a pro nurser. so good at eating, she latched on right away

uterus contractions while nursing. 

















Stephanie makes special hats for all her home birth babies



everyone singing happy birthday to the newly birthday girl 

whispering something loving to miss baby girl




watching my love with my babies is one of the most beautiful things I've even seen

I tear up sometimes seeing all the love he has for our family 

love my mama

hugs and loves

Abigail got some one on one time with Daddy while mama got checked out. 






Daddy adores his babies


this is my favorite 



what is this hat doing on my head? 


who needs a pacifier when you got a daddy finger

perfection


that nose! So stinkin cute! Its the Howell baby nose.