Monday, April 30, 2012


Noah turned 9 months old last week. He is getting so big now. (well compared to a couple months ago but we will get to that) He is just so very vocal. I love his noises. He has become a screamer. Not in a tantrum way but in a "hey look at me and what I'm doing right now and then I'll smile at you" kind of a way. So very precious. 

 They were asleep but then Noah woke up right as I snapped the picture haha. silly goose.

Noah had his 9 month doctor appointment today. Sean and I met at his mom's house and then drove over with Noah. (side note: Sean's last day of school this semester was today! yay for break time. Three weeks til Summer school starts) Noah was in such a happy mood even during the appointment. Dr Auxier said that Noah is a happy healthy boy. He was concerned about his size though. He was in some where around the 50% for height and 25% for weight back in his 6 month appointment. Now he is in the 25% for height and the 3% for weight. Its not so much what percent he is because as we all well know every baby is different. The issue is that he went from one bracket to another so quickly and is well below his own growth chart. Dr Auxier said that it happens with some babies as they start to eat more solid food and the mother is at work that the breast milk becomes more thin and loses the creamy fat part of the milk. He stressed the importance of me still breastfeeding but said that we should start to supplement as well. So now after he eats breast milk  we are going to give him some pedia sure. We tried the formula and he just won't eat it. Sean said that my breast milk is like baby crack. Once he has had the good stuff he doesn't want the cheap knock off. haha

(disclaimer: This is a downer part of the post. I was having mixed feelings about the whole supplementing and my body not producing the milk enough or correctly)
I feel broken, or like something is wrong with me. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. I know its not my fault. Sean is such a great husband and knew right away where my mind was going and assured me how wonderful I am and that its not in my control but I still feel a little sad. Dr Auxier said that its nothing I did. It's not like I was eating wrong, or doing things I shouldn't. My body just isn't producing the milk the way it should for Noah to grow properly. I know this. But my heart doesn't. Its just not fair. I wish it was easier. I was so excited to breastfeed and to do what is right for my baby and now I feel like I failed. So many women can breastfeed and just chose not to for the convenience of bottle feeding and I want to breastfeed so bad and I have such issues with it lately. In the beginning we had some obstacles with the shield and Noah not latching on correctly. After that it was smooth sailing for many months. I was producing quite a bit more than Noah needed and was able to freeze a lot of it for nights out. But then when I went back to work it became harder to produce. Then the added stress of finances and moving made it even more difficult. I thought that it was getting better these last two months. I was getting a good amount of milk.  It still is an issue some weeks so I have to pump extra at night to have enough for the next day but it wasn't too bad. Now I find out that even when I do get a good amount its not enough fat.
I am doing my best. I guess that's all that matters. Noah is still healthy. He just needs to gain some more weight. Or maybe he will just be a small boy. I don't know.  We shall see. Noah loves me lots though and so does Sean. And I love them both very very muchness. I am grateful that I have been given the patience and the will to breastfeed this long and that I am able to continue to do so for a couple more months. I know that it has brought Noah and I closer together and Sean admires it as well.  *Big sigh* I feel better getting all of those thoughts out. Sean and I will supplement the breast milk and things will be fine. Its not the end of the world to need help right? Good news is that Noah is still getting all the other nutrients he needs from the breast milk. He still gets the antibodies and vitamins and other things so yay for a healthy breastfed baby! He just gets an extra treat of pediasure.

So this is the sad part. At the end of the appointment Dr Auxier asked us some questions about Noah. He asked if he was watched or lived in a house that was built before 1978, if he had contact with someone with TB and all sorts of other things to see if he had been exposed to lead or TB. Turns out my parents house was build a long time ago so we had to get him tested for any lead poisoning. Every baby needs to be tested for Anemia as well at 9months but usually its just a foot prick. Since he was needing to be tested for those other things we had to take him to a lab and get blood drawn. It was the worst! Poor Noah was held by Sean while the Dr and a nurse held his arm. His veins were so tiny, even for a baby, that he needed the smallest needle. Turns out the small needle makes it take even long for the blood to be drawn. It took ten minutes to draw! They took one vile from his arm and one from his hand. Poor guy! He screamed his head off and had such big tears. It was so hard to watch. Sean looks so sad while holding him too. Right after they were done Sean handed Noah Bug to me and as soon as he was in my arms he stopped crying. He just needed some mommy love. Then he went into Sean's arms and smiled too. He loves us. He is fine now except for the bruise on his arm. Its small enough it should be gone in a day or two. I hated seeing him so sad during that blood draw. I'm glad he won't remember it. 

That was pretty much our day. Noah is just growing and growing and learning even more. He can pick things up with his thumb and pointer finger now which is a milestone. He is mobile. Not in the conventional way but whatever. He is innovative. Sean is done with school for a bit. This pleases me so much! Looks like he will have a mix of A's and B's. A pretty good semester. My smart husband man. I am so proud of him! Noah and I get some quality daddy and hubby time for a couple weeks Wahoo :)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

So much happening Not enough Blogging

I haven't been so great with blogging lately. I really miss it. I have returned! No worries. I promise to make more posts and keep everything updated on here. At church last week there was a talk given and the topic was on Family History. He said that its important to keep a family history so that other generations know who we are and what we did. He even said that a blog is a good thing to have because it chronicles things in our lives. I know I need to be better at keeping up my personal spiritual journal for those things that are too sacred to put on here though. I will be better at that as well. I want my children and my children's children to have a family history. Even if it is just my thoughts and stories. They will have a sense of what it was like to be me and they stories of their family.

So whats been going down in Howell Town? I'll give you the skivvy. 

Aren't we such a happy family! :) 

He is down to the last few days of this semester. Then just two more semesters til he graduates with his Bachelors in Psychology. I'm so proud of my man. He has been doing so well in school and putting so much time and effort in his classes. He has been part of some research studies as part of one of his classes and has had fun with those. It was looking like he would get out of this semester with straight A's for a while there but some group projects that had some not so helpful partners and some tough grading might have changed that. BUT the important thing is that Sean has been learning so much and is much better with multi-tasking and study habits. He is still working Saturdays to help with bills and such. He has finals next week and then will have a 3 week break before he starts summer school. Such a dedicated husband right! He is working so hard to get through his degree. He will be taking Spanish one and Spanish two. Haha When he told Jessica that he would be taking those classes she was so confused how he would do both at the same time. Tis not so. He will be having one during end of May to June and the other from July to the middle of August. Other than school and his weekend work day Sean is just being the sweet, loving, husband and father. He loves his Noah time and dates with me, his very lucky wifey. 

I have been working like usual. Its been a little stressful but I think it should be getting better soon. I work in the payment processing of a real estate services firm. We cut and send checks them to the vendors or property managers and signers. So turns out someone was stealing large amounts from the company. They set up a faulty vendor and was having the checks sent back to them so they could "hand deliver them" and was really taking and depositing them in their own account. Crazyness, right?! I don't know how anyone could be so dishonest. Not only is it just wrong but I would think the guilt would get to you and you would never know when someone was going to find you out. Well they were found out. And now has huge consequences. And now it affects my whole work team and all the other property managers. We had big bosses come in this week and watch us like gold fish in a tank. They wanted to see how we do things and the procedures. They wrote lots of notes and ideas and now there will be many procedure changes coming to ensure nothing like that happens again. I say again, Crazyness! 
Other than that I have been doing lots of massages as of late. I have typically had 2 to 3 massages a week this past month. Pretty good for a part time job right? I think so. Its great to have that extra income. We are still aiming to get the car paid off my June. If we do then we will be able to put the money that was designated for car payments to savings! Yay for savings and self efficiency! 
I haven't lost anymore weight for about 3 months now but good news I haven't gained any either! haha. Jessica and Kenny and a couple other friends have pointed out that they think I look skinnier. So Ive decided that looking skinny and healthy is much more important than what the scale says :) That said I still like to know where I am at. I know contradictory. So I have 16lbs to go to be at my per-pregnancy weight.  Conference! I still haven't blogged about that and its been so long! Pretty much I loved it and so did Sean. We learned a lot of things that we need to work on and improve. Also we got some good inspiration and answers to things we had been pondering.
Oh and I dyed my hair again. Its an addiction. haha. I massaged Andraya and she did my hair. Its so blonde! I haven't been blonde in over a year!! I love it. And best of all Sean loves it. He thinks I'm a cutie. Noah was confused for a second but then I fed him and he was fine ever since.

He is just the sweetest little baby in the world. We just love him so so much! Looking at him sometimes just gives us this overwhelming feeling of love. I'm so happy he is mine and that Heavenly Father entrusted him in our care. It is an honor to see him learn and grow. He has such a kind spirit and loves being around people. He will be a great missionary someday! 
Noah bug is eating more and more kinds of baby food. He is kind of a picky eater but my mom gets him to eat more. Sean and I have a hard time getting him to eat it but when he does he goes to town. His favorites seem to be rice cereal, tomatoes and oranges. Acidic things make him happy I guess. I love love love tomatoes too so I guess he gets that from me. I'll eat them like an apple. He has been making more sounds as well. He is getting really good at controlling his vocals. He mimics sounds other make pretty well. He hasn't started conventionally crawling yet. He does however crawl backward! haha Sean cracks up when he does it. Noah also rolls around still to get to where it is he wants to go. He also knows how to go from laying on the floor to sitting up on his own. Its so funny. He pulls one leg up to bend under him then just lifts the rest of him up. He gets such a proud happy face when he does this. Such an accomplishment! And he knows it. We are still using cloth diapers for him. Sean is a big fan of them now as well. The savings are great and we have gotten so used to them that we change them just as fast as disposables. We no longer us the cloth wipes though. Noah has sensitive skin and the oils kept causing a rash. We might try them again when he is older and not use the tea tree oil. I think thats what is doing it. We shall see. He is 9 months old today! Can you believe it! Us either! It has gone by so fast. Everyday he has learned something new so its been an adventure. I just love him.

Calvin & Hobbes

When ever people meet Noah for the first time they always comment on his awesome hair. Guaranteed. People just love the hair.  Sean and I love it as well. Its so unique. . . Except I guess he does share his awesome hair with someone else many people know of. 
Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. Such a strong resemblance Sean decided Noah needed his own Hobbes stuffed animal. He found one on amazon last night and ordered it to be shipped today. It got here this early evening. Noah just loves him! He grabbed a hold of him right away and just played and played with him. Its so cute. Such a soft plush doll too.

 We did a photo shoot of him and his new best friend.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Checking in

No pictures again, Sorry. I'm posting from work so I cant get the pictures on from here. I promise I'll post from home soon with some awesome pictures of my handsome husband and adorable son. Conference was this last weekend. It was inspiring to say the least. Sean got Saturday off so we got to spend the whole weekend as a family. Noah was such a cutie as always. He is getting so close to crawling. He is going to be a handful when that happens. He already tries to lunge out of our arms and grab at things. I'll post more about conference and the things I learned, favorite talks and other things later. Oh I got a new swimsuit with the help of Jessica picking it out. It was a plain grayish, silverish one but I made it awesome with some thread and an idea. Picture to come as well. Just wanted to say hi and let you know I'm still here. Loves