Friday, September 27, 2013

President of Domestic Operations

I'm officially a stay at home mom ! Words can't describe my joy right now. Its so great to finally get to be home with my children. I have so many plans! Home school, trips to the park and museums, better lamed meals. I know I won't be perfect but it will be awesome. I'm so grateful for the opertunity to have worked at Cushman and Wakefield. I will miss the people and the fun times there. I learned so much being there.  My last day was so great. They surprised me with pizza, and a delicious cake! I usually don't like cake but this was amazing! It tasted like it had ice cream in it! The best part was the card they gave me. They wrote such sweet things in it. It was weird to see my desk so bare and to shut down my computer. I cried a little as I walked out at the end of the day for the last time. It was a fun 3 years. I'm so happy to move onto the next chapter in my life of staying home with the kids. Wahoo!! 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Bink in the trash

Last night I was telling Sean we need to have Noah throw it away himself so he knows its all done and he is a big boy. Noah heard us talking and ran to the kitchen and threw it in the trash. Then he immediately started crying after he realized what he had done. It was so sad. We didn't want to do it last night though cuz he was feeling sick so we were going to do it when he felt better. He has an ear infection and a cough. But he heard us talking and he is so obedient and he just did it. But once in the trash we can't just grab it out for him or he will never get off the bink. So I asked him to throw away the other one and he did but then cried harder. Poor guy. We told him that he is a big boy and doesn't need them and babies use them. He saw Bekah had hers and said "Bekah has a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!!!!!!!!" Haha. He was crying but not so bad. We told him that babies get binks but big boys get lots of better things that babies can't have. Like fruit snacks and Popsicles. He got excited for that and we gave him a Popsicle as a reward for being a big boy. He went to sleep without it just fine at first. He didn't even cry. But then the rest if the night he woke up every hour to two hours til 4am when he slept til 7am. He wasn't crying for the bink he was just in pain from his ear and wanted to be cuddled. So he slept on the couch with Sean with a heating pack on his ear. I hope tonight is better for him. It will get easier as he feels better and as the nights go on without it. My little boy is growing up so much. He is such a sweetheart. 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Rollie Pollie

Rebekah rolled over for the first time today! We almost missed it too. Well indie miss it. But Sean caught her in the act right as she got to her back. She was in her crib sleeping (she sleeps on her tummy) and we heard her fussing so he went in to check on her. She had just rolled over! How fun. Our little girl is getting so big :) she also has been sucking on her fist a lot lately. Its pretty adorable. She sits up on her belly really well. She smiles all the time now. She is so beautiful. 

Thursday, September 12, 2013

2 weeks is 14 days

It's official! I gave my two week notice this morning. It was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. In fact it wasn't bad at all. My boss was incredibly understanding and kind. We went to the conference room and I told him that i was giving my two weeks notice. I said i needed to be home with my children and that I am going to miss it here but that my priority is my family. I also told him about the anxiety I experience and that I think work adds to the stress. I couldn't help it and I cried a little. I love the people I work with and I'm going to miss them.  He said he completely understands and that I would be greatly missed. Then he surprised me when he said the door is always open should I ever decided to return to work. That was so nice to hear. He said that I do great work and that he appreciates it. Then he hugged me. I never knew quitting could be such a nice experience. Haha. Then he said I just need to submit the notice in writing for HR. I'm glad I was prepared for that and had written one last night. 

My coworker Tawna is also a massage client and friend so I will continue to see her weekly which is awesome. But Toni I won't really see unless I visit work. She has become like a work grandma to my kids. She is always asking about them and gets so excited to see pictures and hear stories. She is such a nice lady. I will definitely be sending her Christmas cards and visiting her when I can. Also Lorissa was a friend before work so I know we will keep in touch too. She is so awesome.  I will also miss Candace. She is pregnant right now and due at the end of October with her first child. She and I have bonded over the last 3 years and it will be sad to not see her everyday. She is always coming to me for pregnancy and child advice and I love to talk about it with her. She is so fun. But we will keep in touch too for sure. 

Basically I'm sad to leave everyone but I'm also so ecstatic to be home with my littles soon! I get to be a Stay at home mom! Well actually idk if that's really true. Cuz I will still be working doing massages but that's after they go to bed so I'm like a stay at home mom at day and a working mama at night. The best of both worlds. I get to love on my kids all day and I get to do what I love which is make people feel good with massage. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

2 weeks notice

This was my first day back at work. Dropping them off at my mothers house. It was hard. 

That is an awesome and hilarious movie by the way. Sandra Bullok is a gem. Any who. Guess what this girl is doing tomorrow?!  Eek ! I'm giving my two weeks notice. I'm not nervous to actually quit. That I'm quite calm about. Sean and I have prayed about it for basically two years since Noah was born. We have both wanted me to be able to be home but it just didn't work out or line up til now. There was lessons I needed to learn from working I'm sure. Also hardships that we needed to go through. I know now that I will really appreciate and not take for granted the blessing to be home with my children. I want to be sure I do all I can to make it a good experice and do the best I can. I am looking forward to homeschool, home cooked dinners since I will have prep time now and just good quality time spent with the kids loving and learning.

The thing I am nervous for is the actual giving my two weeks notice. It's going to be awkward. I happen to sit right next to my boss all day at work. Usually we all kind of just do our thing but also have random conversations throughout the day. I'm nervous that might put a stink on the day and he won't talk to me much. I guess we will see. I was trying to decide if I should do it in the beginning of the day or end. I decided to go with the beginning. If its bit awkward that day it would be the next day anyway and I don't want to be thinking about it all day. I was goin to do it today but then realized it was 9/11 and decided against it.

By the way I shoul write a posting about 9/11. I will later this week.

Back to Sandra Bullok. Or no I mean me quitting.  I am having on and off anxiety attacks about this. I just hate disappointing people and I don't want my boss to be upset. More importantly though Noah and Rebekah will love me being home so it's worth it. This last week has been so hard! I don't know how I did it with Noah. I guess knowing I had no other option made me have to be string. But knowing I get to quit soon actually made it harder to go back this time. I missed holding my little sweet Bekah and talking to her all day and seein her smiles. I missed Noah talking and saying silly sweet things. I just think about them all day and all the fun things we could be doing if I was home. I cried so much at work this week. And then again when I am home and they go to sleep and I think about having to leave again the next day. Noah has thrown a couple mini tantrums when I have left this week too. It's so hard leavin when he tells me not too.

It's been hard for Sean too. He just wants me to be happy and to he with our children. He hates seeing me so sad and my heart hurting. I just know that God gave these children to me to raise and I want to be there doing it 100%. I know that working moms are just amazing too and take care of their children.  I've been there for the last two years but I'm excited to start the new chapter in my motherhood and be home.

I hate pumping but I'm glad to give my baby the best! 

Sean and the babies hanging out before he leaves for school when grandma Howell comes to watch the littles. 

She is pretty :) 

"I'm at work and this is dumb"face. 

Soon I get I be a SAHM!! Can't wait :) 


Sunday, September 1, 2013

We moved!

Warning: This post is not grammatically correct. And is kind of all over the place. Get over it. haha

Its been weeks since I blogged and I feel so lazy for taking such a huge blog break. Rest assured there has been a LOT going on here in the Howell world. We moved to a new home on Saturday. We absolutely love it! Its a little duplex in Mesa and I'm so elated to be on the bottom floor. Even better news is that it has a backyard! The people that lived here before us didn't use it much so its not very well taken care of but it will be. I need to get rid of the stickers first and then water the non existent grass. haha. But I'm excited to get it pretty and ready for the kids to play in. My lovely sister bought us a swing set with a slide. Noah is going to love it and I know Rebekah will enjoy the swing. Its really such a blessing to have found this place. Its exactly what I was hoping for and in the price range we can afford. With everything going on with the broken ac unit in our old place we started looking for a new place to live. Then one night after praying we would find something reasonable (I didn't think we would be able to find a bottom floor with a backyard for less than $600 but thats all we can afford) I logged onto facebook and a friend (I read her blog and worked with her husband before he went on a mission) had literally just posted a status about her place being available. Talk about answered prayers! I'm so grateful for a Father in Heaven that is aware and willing to bless us with our needs. Alexis was so awesome with getting me the information to the landlord and we were able to get the place. She and her husband moved due to her husband getting a new job. Yay for them :) A fun fact is that the couple that owns the place is LDS and goes to our ward. So fun :) We had our first sunday at our new ward and we love it. Everyone is so kind. I already made friends with a sister that is graduated from ASU with her MSW which is what Sean is applying for this year. So it will be great to get some advice from her about the program. Also a friend that went to my old family ward when I was growing up goes there too! So so fun!  

Anywho, back to the moving. Its was actually a fairly easy move. We got the keys Thursday night. I started packing that night and we moved a bunch of boxes and small things over with the help of my Dad, my sister Amanda, my mother in law, my sister Andrea and my brother Justin. Elizabeth helped clean up the old place and watched the kids while we moved stuff. Then Friday Elizabeth came over in the afternoon and helped me pack more while Sean and everyone else was at work. Saturday night was the big move where we got everything out. We rented a Uhal truck for the night. Which every time we move from now on we will always get a truck, it made it so smooth and fast. Sean got off work and we started packing the rest of the stuff. My friend Kara came over and she watched the kids and also did a pizza run for us all. Elizabeth cleaned up, and we both played Tetris in the moving truck to get everything to fit. Sean and his brothers kept saying "i dont think anything else will fit" Then we would rearrange and got twice what they thought would go. Seans brothers David and Jim and my brother Justin came and helped Sean move the big stuff. My dad would have come but he was sick that day. Poor guy. It started to rain and continued to rain through out the move but it was light enough that we pushed through. We weren't about to waste a truck rental just because of some rain. Also the rain helped with the heat anyway. 

There was one moment when we had brought everything to the new place and were moving it in where Noah went missing for less than 5 min and I freaked out and it felt like eternity. I searched the house for him and started to cry and found him outside on the sidewalk headed toward the street. He was just out for a walk and didnt realize how completely crazy scared I was that he was lost. Other than that it was a good night. David made sure we got the bed together and we all slept in our beds.  

Saturday morning Elizabeth and my friend from my old ward Lindsay came over and watched the kids and helped organize the kitchen. Also Elizabeth was kind enough to make us a crockpot lasagna for dinner. I got the entire house cleaned and organized that day! I am so relieved to have it all done so quickly and not to have to worry about it. I seriously get so stressed in a cluttered area. I can't handle it. I'm so grateful for loving friends and family that came and helped move and watch the kids so we can get things done so smoothly. We are truly blessed.  I put the finishing touch on the house today after church when I put pictures and decorations on the living room wall. It looks pretty good and Sean is quite pleased with it. He said he loves coming home to a beautiful and organized home. Now I have the pile of laundry to get through over the next week. Seriously, its going to take that long haha. I have neglected it for this whole week amongst the preparing to move business.  

Now other than the move things are going really well for us. I am dealing with the PPD a lot better and only have occasional panic attacks. Sean and haven't been working like we want to which is lame but we are going to start up now that we are in the new place and settled.  Sean is doing well in school and is excited for his classes. Noah is super cute and such a talkative little dude. He loves kissing Rebekah and asks what she is doing all the time. He is really great at pointing out when he sees two of something, he loves bubble baths, pizza, and pretending to read to us. Rebekah is a champ at sleeping most nights and is a smily little girl. She seems to be most happy in the morning. She makes little babble sounds and has started to suck on her fist. Even when she is nursing she will sometimes stick her fist in her mouth and push out my nipple and then get mad that no milk is coming out. haha Silly girl. She is super gasy all the time and it smells quite horrible. Its so hard to believe that such a girl dainty thing can have such a gross smell sometimes haha. She hates tummy time unless she is tired in which case she just falls asleep. I know the doctors and everyone says not to put a baby on their tummy to sleep but thats the only way she will sleep through the night for a long period of time so I say mama knows best! Also daddy does too since he is the one that suggested it. 

I'm getting into cooking more and want to make homecooked meals at least 3 or 4 times a night instead of just warming up already cooked frozen meals. We will see how that goes. I think they will probably mostly end up being semi-homemade. As in using frozen products and canned food in with the recipes. I enjoy having a homecooked meal and I feel good that I did it but I can't handle having too many steps in a recipe. Enter in already prepared food and its a snap :) I have to go back to work on Thursday this week which is a bummer but then I get to quit in 3 weeks so it wont be too bad. I am looking forward to being a full time stay at home mama. yay for doing whats best for my family! Not that working is bad just that for me I know its whats best for my family. Get it? no hard feelings from anyone? Good. Mom wars adverted. 

Any way thats whats up with us. I'm way happy to be settled in our new place and to be with my little family. They are my world and I just love them. 

Bekah love some daddy time in the morning. 

We took apart the crib while we were moving and Noah was so tired he laid down on the floor and said "take a nap" so silly

My living room wall. All the important things to me, Family proclamation, Jesus, Family,  and love and friends. 
My family hanging out in the new place after moving Thursday night. 
I forgot to say that I got my hair dyed purple on Thursday morning! 
Andraya is amazing! I love that we trade for massages and so does she. 

This is how you go shopping with a fussy baby. haha 

I gave Noah a hair cut again on Thursday before my hair appointment. I'm getting better. It was actually even this time. And he was quite corporative too.