Getting healthy in 2014

I started a work out challenge with one of my besties Melissa. Its a 90 day challenge built by a mom for mom's to lose the baby belly and get healthy. Here is the link to her site 

http://bikinibodymommy.com/category/90-day-challenge/

She is such an inspiration. If you haven't heard of her you should read her story. Basically she has done this challenge 2 times and this is her 3rd time doing it. This is the first time she has added videos to the work out. Each day she posts on her website, facebook group and youtube the work out for the day. I love how easy it is to schedule the workout into my day. Its always 20 min or less (unless you chose to do 45 min cardio instead of the 20 HIIT workout for cardio day). The workouts aren't easy. They definitely kick my butt. Thats a good thing though. If it was easy then it wouldn't do anything for my body, but I can get through it. I feel stronger each day. I love how she is going through the work out right along side me. Its a good change up from the usual workout videos you see with a skinny minnie leading the workout asking why youre struggling and saying "if I can do it you can too!". haha right. She has 30 pounds to lose (her words not mine) too so its nice seeing someone that looks like me doing the workout. She gets tired and winded at the end of the workout too! And then she is right there the next day doing the work out. It makes me feel like I can do it too. Another great motivator for me is that Melissa is doing it with me. We text each other before and after our workouts and give support. Also one day that Melissa didn't want to do it I texted her and told her she had to do it and to push through. Then 2 days later she did the same for me. Ya we rock like that :) We have been eating healthier too! Like the Briana (work out trainer) says "you cant out train a bad diet".  I got discouraged the first week when I gained 2 pounds but then Briana said in her video that day that its to be expected with working out. Water weight, muscle, your body is changing. I think measured my belly and I had lost 2 inches! I would love if my body would just transform in a 2 week period but its just not how it happens. I need to have patience and keep pushing on. The results will come.

After I had Noah I tried to lose the extra weight I had gained. I tried for a couple days and then did one or more of the following each time I made a commitment to lose the weight. I either 1. got bored of working out and quit   2. Got busy and didn't make it a priority 3. Got discouraged that I didn't see results right away.  4 hated the workout I was doing and just quit. 5. Decided not doing anything was easy.

Each time I basically decided it wasn't important enough to push through to the end. I had lost 20lbs of the 30 I had gained quit easily just from giving birth and then breastfeeding. The last 10 pounds I didn't lose. I then got pregnant with miss Rebekah a year after having Noah. That's when I lost those 10pounds I had gained while pregnant with Noah. I was throwing up so much I lost 10 pounds with in the first month of being pregnant. Then of course as pregnancy goes I gained that 10 back plus. At the end of my pregnancy with Rebekah I was 40 pounds heavier than my prebabies weight. Again just having a baby and breastfeeding (had to stop BF when Rebekah was 4 mo) I lost 20pounds again like nothing. Now I am 7 months postpartum and still 20 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant the first time. I realize having a baby means your body changes. In some ways it will never be the same. I'm ok with that in some ways. I can't lie to you and say that I love it because it reminds me that I'm a mother, or that I have a true women's body now. I just don't feel that way. I have seen so many blog posts on facebook and all over the internet about mothers embracing their postpartum bodies and not wanting to get back into the shape they were before having babies. They are beautifully written and empowering. I agree with the message. Love yourself for who you are. This is the body that created life. I get it. I do. Yet, I still don't read those articles and think "ya I'm fine with my body. The extra fat, stretch marks on my sides, weak muscles. Its all because I had a baby and thats beautiful. " ya, not so much for me. I know plenty of women out there are happy with their bodies post baby even without fitting in their old jeans, or having a toned stomach. To them I say "way to go! Thats great that you can be so comfortable in your own skin and I'm sure you look great".  Even if I was happy with my body I think its still good to work out and be your best self. You can be happy and love your self and still have goals to be better. I feel like sometimes when I read those articles its saying that working out and losing the extra weight isn't a necessity and therefore you shouldn't worry about it. I agree its not a necessity. I have babies to take care of and other things to do. But taking time out of my day for me to work out is something that is good for me. I may not always want to do it but after I do I feel so good!

I would love to say that I am happy in my own skin and that I love my body how it is. I just don't. I know part of it is due to the postpartum depression I'm struggling with, another part is due to the fact that I don't think I ever really liked my body even when I was thinner. Yet another part is probably due to I'm a women and I'm crazy, as Sean so lovingly points out. Being skinner and having a toned body is not going to just fix my insecurities with my body. Its deeper than that.  However I still want to work out and lose this extra weight I have gained over the last two babies. I don't think I will get back down to the weight I was before Noah. I'm a different women now. I have hips and a chest I never had before being a baby maker. To me wanting to lose the weight and get more toned isn't just about looking good. I don't think I need to fit back into a mold of who I was almost 4 years ago. I do however want to be healthy. I want to be able to go for a run and not be exhausted after going half a mile and having to walk until I have the strength to run again. I want to be an example to my children that being healthy isn't about being skinny. (Even though I really do want to be skinny haha Can't lie). Its about eating right and taking care of your body.

Briana says to post your before pictures so you can be accountable and continue to work out and get to the end of the challenge. My ever so lovely friend Melissa did and gave me the motivation to do it too. I was going back and forth with doing it. Here they are.

And these last pictures are from the first day of the challenge. I was going to wear a t shirt but I really wanted to be able to see the change at the end so I took the plunge and wore my work out bra thing.