Sunday, September 25, 2011

Mommy goes back to work

The time I had dreaded has come. I knew it was going to be hard but I didn't know it was going to be as hard as it has been. That's right folks, I have gone back to work :'( I had grown accustomed to the time spent at home all day with my Noah bug. Going back to work was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. I know that its what needs to happen for our family but it doesn't make it any easier to leave my baby for others to watch during the day. I just love my baby so much it feels like the biggest sacrifice I could be asked to make. I know that it is a good sacrifice seeing as how he requires a place to live, food (it won't always be free soon he will want more than just breast milk), clothes and such things as that. Sean is going to school full time so that he will get done faster and be able to get a well paying job to support us. As I see it we are sharing the responsibility of providing for our family. He is still working on Saturdays and he is going to school which counts as providing because it is the precursor to having a good job. And I am providing by going to work full time and bringing home the bulk of our income so we can afford the necessities of life. I just wish there was a way that we could still afford the things we need but have me be home. I am very grateful for my job still. I sometimes get off early and get to spend extra time with my baby guy and Sean. I love the people I work with and enjoy spending time with them. For the situation I have to be in at least it is good conditions.

My first day back at work was Tuesday the 20th. I woke up at 6am, fed Noah, pumped milk for him, got dressed and got my lunch prepared. Then I spent some time with Noah before it was time for me to leave. I was ok while I was getting things ready but when the time came that I had to say goodbye to my little Noah I broke down. I didn't want to leave him knowing I was going to be away from him for 9 hours. That was the longest I had been gone from him. Let me tell you that day was the longest of my life! I missed everything about being home with Noah. I missed his smell, his little coos as he just wakes up from his naps, his babble baby talk, even his little cries as he tells me what he wants, I missed being able to feed him instead of having a machine attached to me storing the milk for later, I missed the funny faces he makes at me while I talk to him, I missed reading him stories. My day was just not what I wanted it to be because I wasn't where I wanted to be. I know that he mostly just sleeps the day away but even that is precious. It hurts knowing that he will grow more and be awake more during the day and I'm going to miss all those moments and memories due to being at work. I am happy that my mom will be watching him. That is one of the few comforts. He will be with someone I trust. Also Sean will be with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays for most of the day as well. I have had 4 days back at work so far. It turns out people lied to me.
It hasn't gotten any easier to leave him!    
I don't think it will ever get any easier to leave him. I sure hope I at least won't cry everyday like I have been though. My favorite part of the day is when I get home and get to hold Noah for the next hours as he sleeps on me. Sean is the best partner I could ever ask for. And he is just that, a partner. He helps me in everything and I help him. We take turns with diapers, cleaning up, holding Noah, staying up with him when he just wants to be held and anything else you can think of. Having Noah in our lives has strengthened our marriage so much! Its great seeing each other with Noah and seeing the love that we show. Sean has been a huge support to me with me having to go back to work. He is a constant reassurance that we both are doing what is best for our family. Noah is lucky to have such a wonderful family and we are lucky to have him. 

Noah updates: He has his 2 month old dr appointment this coming Thursday. He is just growing more and more everyday. He is just a tiny little baby but still we notice the growth. He is just so tall! He is interacting more with us lately. He smiles when we read to him. His favorite book is Cat in the Hat. True story. When we read other books he responds a little to our voice but when we read Cat in the Hat he starts kicking his little baby legs out of excitement, moving his arms about, staring at our face and just showing all signs of happiness. Two of the times Sean read to Noah he pooped himself out of excitement! Noah can sit propped up all by himself. He doesn't need to be held up or anything. We have such a strong baby man! He holds his head up all by himself as well. His gas isn't as bad anymore, he is pooping regularly, he is sleeping through the night in increments of 3 to 6 hours of course and pretty much being a very happy fat baby, as Sean likes to call him. To end I will post some pictures. You can never have too many baby pictures :)

 Noah and Isabelle Burnham. Aren't they a cute couple?

 Noah and his Uncle Tim (Adriana's husband) 

 Noah was doing tummy time and Cousin Cortney decided to join him. 

 Reading time with Mommy. See how interested in the book he is!

1 comment:

  1. Leaving your baby will be hard no matter what, I think. I'm proud of you though! I'm not sure how well I'd be able to handle it lol.
    I seriously love the picture of Tim holding Noah!! He just has so much love in his face... Oh man am I excited for that to be him with our kid! Sixish more months


I love comments :)