Monday, September 17, 2012

Grass and Forget Me Nots

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"

Odds are you have heard this saying before, right? Well guess what its not really correct. Its like looking at only one side of a situation. The grass on the other side might be greener but thats not the whole story. First of all how do you know what your grass is capable of if you are too busy looking over that dang fence? The true saying should say

"The grass is always greener where it is nurtured and lovingly watered on a regular basis"

Instead of worrying about what other peoples grass looks like we just pay attention to our own. I am not the best one to be talking about this but I think thats why its been in my head
 all week. Its something that I need to put into practice.

We all have our own voice in our head talking to us alllll day. You know that little voice. Its the one that says "Gosh that girls skirt is so cute! I wish my body would look that good in a skirt like that" or "She is such a good mom, I'm probably not that good" 

A lot of factors have inspired this post. Lately I have been thinking a lot about self thoughts. You are with yourself ALL DAY. What you think about yourself is pretty important, dont ya think?

I have been having anxiety attacks lately. Its a horrible feeling. I feel my chest tighten and it feels like I can't take a full breath. Like my chest is falling in on itself. Then I feel like I am falling with no control. Its just bad. Then the tears come and I can't stop. Luckily I have Sean, who is incredibly loving and helps me through it.

I have been feeling like nothing I do is right, Its never good enough and someone always is doing it better. I realize this isn't healthy. There is so much out of my control lately and I feel like the world is spiralling out of control as well. Society is a pretty scary place sometimes. Gay marriage is the cool thing, drinking is just a normal thing, and all sort of other things that used to be an obvious moral no no is just ok. I makes me sacred for my children growing up in it. Then there is the whole, we don't know where Sean is going to school next year thing. Finances are always a stressor for me as well. (Even though we are getting that under better control its still hard) Did I tell you brother is back in prison? I worry about him a lot. I don't like to admit it but I do. He is another 3 blog posts to explain everything going on with him and his life. But the gist is that he has been in and out, mostly in, prison and jail for half of his life. I don't really know him that well. I mean on the level that most people know their brother. He has hurt me and my family over and over. But he is still my brother and I love him and just want the best for him. Basically I just let too much into my head at once and then worry about it all.

"Some days life doesn't make sense,"  author Lizzie Velasquez writes in  "Be Beautiful, Be You." "You just have to change what you can, ask for help and pray about the rest."  

I love this. Its totally something that needs to become my mantra. Every time I feel myself falling and feeling lost I just need to remember this and then put it into action. I want to overcome these self defeating behaviors. I don't want to look in the mirror and see all my imperfections. I want to see a Daughter of God, A good wife, a loving mother, a funny girl, a caring and serving person. It's not conceded to see and even acknowledge the good things about yourself. I think that misguided thought is one of the reasons I try not to think good about myself. I don't want to be prideful. But loving yourself as God loves you isn't prideful. Its knowing who you are and what youre worth. Every one is in a different part of their life and doing things the best they can. There is no need to compare and try to find a winner. There isn't one! This isnt a contest. It just can't be. There are too many variables to compare. We have all had different experiences and life challenges for anyone to really stack up against the other.  I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father and his love for me. He knows what I'm capable of and He will help me to become  better. I just need to trust in Him and do my best. I can find peace in Him.  

Have you read the talk Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave in General Relief Society Meeting titled "Forget Me Not"? If you havent you really must do so. It will heal your soul even if you don't know it needs healing. It will bring the spirit and make you feel closer to your Heavenly Father and know of His love. You can find it on type in the search box the title of the talk. Or you can click on this link here

Some goodies from the talk:
"You are not forgotten.

Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!" 
This is a good note to end on. Have a good day! 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you! I should read through Elder Uchtdorf's talk again. You're amazing and an awesome friend :) We both need to think happy thoughts and remember that we're taken care of. Love ya girly!


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