My Grandpa Roland

Did you know I am named after my Grandpa Roland? His name is Roland Dean Ellsworth. I got my first name from his middle. He is my moms dad. He is very sick and probably going to pass away this week. We have known for weeks now that he was dying. He has lung cancer and his doctor thinks it has moved to his brain now. He has been hallucinating and reverting to his time in the Korean War. It's been really hard for my grandma and mom to see him go through this. My mom has been going over everyday to help take care of him. I am going to miss him so much. But I know that I will see him again. Being pregnant and knowing that Rebekah can come at anytime now and also knowing that grandpa is going to be passing away anytime was hard for me to think about. I didn't want to be selfish but I just wanted to have Bekah before grandpa dies. I didn't want it to happen the same day and was so worried it would. I'm feeling much more peace about it all now.

This afternoon at work my mom called and said that grandpas heart rate had gone down really low and that he won't make it past the weekend. His bishop came and gave him a blessing saying he was released and can go to Heavenly Father. It was really emotional. Amanda was there and she told the bishop about my concerns with being pregnant. The bishop said some wonderful words. He said that the two things that remind us most of the atonement are birth and death. And that Rebekah being born will be a comfort to the family and remind us all that we will see him again. 

Amanda and I were talking and joking that we should name Rebekah after grandpa. We should name her Rolanda. Haha. Or Deana. Haha. But then I said how about Rebekah MaeDean at first jokingly. But then the more I said it the more I loved it. I asked Sean and he said he does too and said it would be great. I called Amanda and told her we decided to name her it. She told mom and grandma. Grandma said "bless her heart.  Grandpa will be honored. " everyone in the family loves it and I think it gives us all a lot of comfort. So there you have it. We changed or rather added to Rebekah's name to honor our grandpa. It's going to be hard when he does pass but we can at least find comfort in the Gospel :) 

Oh side note: I had a dr appointment today and I am now dilated to 4cm, 90% effaced. Dr Hazzelrigg said she could be coming this weekend.