Friday, July 1, 2011

Twitching Eye, and 35 Weeks!

Stressed out!?!?!  :/

Yeah just a little... Ok maybe a little more than a little. With all the shenanigans with the house going on I just can't help but be stressed. I really should learn to just relax a bit and let things go. Yes I am admitting fault. Go figure, I'm not perfect. Surprised? Yeah I didn't think so. Even though Sean still thinks I'm pretty dang awesome I do realize that I drive him nuts sometimes with my persistent manner of wanting things done right away. Lately I have been letting myself get so stressed with getting everything done and just way too many thoughts going through my mind that my body is now reacting to the stress. I have developed a twitch in my right eye. It's been twitching since Tuesday randomly throughout the day. This is me:

 In turn, Me being stressed out and worrying about money, the nursery, getting the house spotless at all times, not being able to sit still for too long, makes Sean look like this:

Ok I would just like to point out that even though this picture was to illustrate Sean being annoyed/frustrated, he is just so darn sexy. Look at those muscles! Oh yeah I have quite a catch :) So anyway, the stress. I know all the things people keep telling me are so very true. That I just need to relax and things will be ok in time. I agree. But the thing I am having a hard time with is that its not ok now. I had everything planned out to the day of when things were going to be finished. I had a budget where we were going to save a bunch of money up for Noah and for maternity. I had the whole house organized and looking beautiful. Then BAM! Life hit us. The pipe problem, car issues, hospital bills surfacing (back when I was sick in January, the urgent care is over charging us).

Remember when our nursery looked like this

It now looks like this

And our Pantry/Laundry Room looks like this. All the stuff in the nursery had to be put here. Its kind of hard to do laundry when you can't get to the washer and dryer. 

I know that somethings don't always go as planned but still I wasn't ready for it all to not go as planned. I have started to have braxton hicks a lot more often than I probably should. I haven't really slowed down much like most pregnant women do when they get this far. I still work full time, move boxes of things at work, walk all over creation getting things done, cleaning etc. I think I have finally realized (thanks to the prodding of Sean and my best friend Jess) that I really do just need to slow down, relax, let others take control. ****Sigh***** This is going to be more work than you know. But I know that for my sake, the sanity of Sean and the safety of my baby Noah I just have to suck it up and do it. Sean and I really are super blessed and taken care of. I must sound like a whinny baby. Even to myself I do. We have a house, a baby on the way, a very happy successful marriage (not without its ups and downs but still we are very in love and grateful for each other), food and many other things. Yet when something goes wrong what do I do? Freak out and feel burdened. I'm going to start being more positive and just look for the blessings before I complain about something. It is in fact an inconvenience to have the nursery torn apart, the pantry full of things, and not have as much money as we planned for. But even in all of that there is a bright side. We have money to pay our bills, the nursery will soon have new carpet and be put back together just as beautiful as it was before, we will be able to get the pantry back in running operation soon as well. I'm sick of my eye twitching so I've decided that it is time to just smile and be happy with what we have :) Thanks to my husband for still loving me even in my faults.

Now on to the happy part of this post! I am now 35 weeks! Five more weeks to go and we will have a little baby Noah to hold :)

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